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Faith & Fullness

Campeak, 05:30 7th Aug 2018

Last week I was helping out at a camp that's been a part of my life for 16 years. The Monday night was my night off without the six kids I was looking after so took advantage of this to hammock outside for the night. Blurry eyed, the light woke me at 04:30 and by 5 I was ready to spend time in the silence with lifes mystery. Climbing up a nearby peak I sat there waiting for the sun to rise, reflecting on the past year since I had last sat there.

I reminisced on university, friendships, family, things that had been, thing that might have been. I was talking to a maker. And he reminded me of my first year at University. He reminded me of that precious time, between me and Him, that dependancy on him to pull through, experiencing His faithfulness for myself. For Real.

The sun rose. His faithfulness remained once again.

As I began to think, I began to write:


It’s in our ache, in our longing, in our desert where faithfulness is born.

In the dry dusty plain where all that remains is to hold on in the storm.

To cling on.

Our fingertips gripping the coarse rock, eyes shut praying not to fall; short are the days the nights where our demons patrol - it’s in these times when faithfulness grows.

When we’re broken, speechless, unresponsive. It’s there.

When we forget, reject or deny the rightful heir. It’s there.

It’s the first to accept and the last to let go - that’s if it known how to even do so. It’s this faithfulness that keeps us moving. That teaches us to crawl and stand bold in the roots that we hold.

This faithfulness is pure.

This faithfulness is steadfast.

This faithfulness is strong.

This faithfulness was never created but dwells as the makers heart, ever loving, ever yearning, ever pursuing from the very start. He knows more than our understanding, He is more than belonging. The impossibility of rejection secured his promise, void is all darkness where he never fails. To call me his child, the giver of solace is a scandal of grace that always prevails.

So He is faithfulness and faithfulness will be, forever unchanging and forever with me.


'There is a mountain in between What you have said And what I I see Standing before this offering My failing heart Will fight to believe On this altar On this road You have called me from my home The weight I carry is not my own Spirit move this heart of stone How can I walk in my new name Father of many A promise you gave And on this altar And on this road I lay down my flesh and bones'

Josh Baldwin, Abraham

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